On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
