Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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