but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
