I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
