I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
