careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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