I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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