Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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