you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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