Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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