I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
In America we eat man semen.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
