Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
