dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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