oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
