so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
