I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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