One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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