i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
