if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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