I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize