so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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