Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
You can't motorboat a personality
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
