Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
