so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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