I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
