It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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