She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
