he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Randomize
