I bet he comes in French.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Is Oprah even human
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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