OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
one might say we're banned from that church
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
