new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
