Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
