Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
