He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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