He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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