We're like a lot better than the average bears
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
