So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
