Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Its about making memories worth repressing
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I want a musical about memes.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
