your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
you made out with another girl for some wings
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize