I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
