Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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