yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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