hotel room ftw
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
