Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
