do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
