oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Dick very happy bro
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
