i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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