how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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