Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I could have mohawked her pubes.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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