im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
