My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize