i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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