I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
