no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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