just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
