Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
