Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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