whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
