Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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