I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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