Buhtt sex?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
