Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize