i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
