I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
