I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize